It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me and it’s about time I explain why this is. I’ve been in what I like to call, a sacred pause. I took a step back (and still am) to really evaluate who I am, what I’m doing, what I stand for and just how well I truly know myself and purpose on this planet on a Soul level.
There was a moment a few months ago, after returning from Mexico that I truly realized that showing up, trying to sell myself and market myself as this coach that can teach the world, also burnt me out. It didn’t feel aligned with how I wanted to live my life or teach my passions. I realized I was following all of the other advice around me as to how to succeed in this space and it wasn’t suiting me, it was tearing me down. I got sucked into comparison and wrapped up in my own head. Sometimes without even realizing it.
After my many Harry Potterthons lately, I can say that it reminds of the time Dumbledore said in the Sorcerer’s Stone, “It does not do to dwell on dreams Harry, and forget to live.” I was in a space that I had tried to drag myself out of before, a space of dwelling on the dream and not being present in my own life but rather only noticing where my dreams didn’t lie within it. Frustrated with the lack thereof and when it would manifest into existence. I felt major imposter syndrome from not being able to manifest my own deepest desires and yet teaching others to do so. And don’t give me wrong, I’m VERY good at it. And this sacred pause has been a time to teach the teacher. To take my own advice and reavaluate what I truly want.
Perhaps we all should take this time during this winter season ahead to do the same. I was tired of feeling the urge to record my every breathwork session, meditation or latte art. Of documenting my every ceremony or everytime I thought my environment looked beautiful. And I have been taking the time to just be in it. No longer feeling the pressure that if my audience doesn’t see it than “oh my gosh, do they even think I’m spiritual, healthy, do they know I workout or that I have a fit body?? If I don’t record my meditation then they wont know I teach meditation!! If I don’t show them my full moon ritual then they wont know I guide moon rituals!!”
Tell me the truth, as an influencer of any kind on the the online space, we’ve all been there. But I refused to put on a better looking shirt and brush my hair to do my breathwork in the morning just so that I can document it. I refused to take presence away from my ceremony’s so that I can make it look pretty on camera. In fact, I’ve taken a major step back from social media. Something about seeing “hot girl fall” TikTok videos just made me want to throw my phone at the wall. Because it quiet contrary goes against everything I believe and that I teach. Comparison, perfection, that there’s only one way to do things, that hard work everyday is all that makes you successful. If I see one more TikTok video of women making their beds all perfect, laying out their workout clothes, working out and making a healthy meal I just might scream. Do you feel me? It’s time this all ended.
The feeling like if you don’t have a latte machine and don’t make your bed every morning than your a disaster of a human or if you skip the gym your going to get fat. This is not what I teach, this is not what I stand for. I want to stand for someone that can spend no time on this toxic thing called social media and still change people’s lives. By helping them find that what they are searching for is only inside of them. Not inside their computers or the content that they make. How to listen to their Soul and let that be what guides them and to feel at home with it, confident with it and aligned with every masculine action that they make. And give themselves the space to bathe in the feminine the rest of the time. Because it gets to flow with ease. Because not all of us are Generators or Capricorns, we are not all built the same, so the the same thing will not work for everyone.
If you’ve felt that the grind has left your energy depleted, left you feeling lost. If keeping up with the expectations of perfection has left you feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore. This is what I teach. To guide you back to the truth that you are not your body or your task list. You are not your job or your income class. You are your Soul and your Soul is begging you to let it guide you if you’ll only listen and shut off all of the noise.
So if you can resonate with any of this (and if your still with me till the end than you probably are). Then I invite you to take a sacred pause with me. To step back from expectations to find what works in flow with you. It doesn’t mean laziness, it just means taking time to slow down and see where your Soul guides you. To sit in loneliness if you must to shut off all other forms of judgement or opinions. Delete your social media apps for a while (don’t worry, they wont disappear). To take some time to go inward, meditate, breathe, sit in ceremony, move with intention. It may seem like a downward spiral, but it’s only you killing the parts of you that never were meant to stick and recreating what was. And if you want help along the way, feel free to book a call with me below. As much as a I try, I cannot hide my love for sharing my story, writing it out and being vulnerable. So if you like content like this, please feel free to reply and let me know.